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State of Mike

1) Kid is a brat.
2) Wife is hormonal and porking up, blames me and my favorite parts for both.
3) I might be constipated.
...My days off were horrible.

My uncle volunteered to babysit so I could sleep in - I should have known. I don't know whether to kill him myself, let Millie do it, or hush it up so she doesn't find out, because if she kills him, it'll be loud.

A General Email

Dear Co-Workers:

As you know, I have a small child at home. This means that I have to eat the freaking carrots she left out for some non-existent reindeer, but that also means I get to eat that fat bastard Santa's cookies.

Well, in the spirit of the season, I embraced that duty. Millie'd baked up a storm, and had a bunch of things to put in the breakroom - I think she even had stuff for the 2-7 and the 1-6. However, I got there first.

So, basically, Millie baked you a cookie, but I eated it.

Merry Freakin' Christmas.

Logan

P.S. Mill - where are my antacids!
Just so all of you know, I have never been to Nebraska in my life.

Now, if this had taken place say, at the two-seven, and people were complaining about marks on desks....

Oh! That reminds me - hey, Millie, we should go check out the Christmas windows at Macy's. Heh, heh, heh.
My uncle seems to think he's moving in with us - he thinks wrong.

He started off by askingt Isabel's permission. She said yes, but luckily for me, I'm still the boss of her. If I wanted a deranged old coot taking up residnce in my place, I'd let Munch move in.

MEMO

Attention all you people whining about lack-of-costumes: I mock you. Mock, mock, mock!

You don't see ME moaning and groaning - why?

I already have a costume. Yeah, I'm going as Batman again. I like it, it fits, I'm wearing it. This sucker cost me enough the first time around that I'm gonna wear it until the bat-undies fall off. Considering they're made of some kinda high-grade teflon stuff, that'll take a while.

Pick one great costume and stick with it - that's what I say. This is brought to you by the great Logan family tradition of "if it still fits, wear it!"

And yes, if it fits when I die, I just *might* be buried in it. It cost more than any of my regular suits!

PS: Also returning this year - my policy of free wedgies for anyone dressed as a bat-villan.

Oct. 5th, 2008

So, Millie's mom broke her leg, Millie blew it all out of proportion, and now I have a hyper kid and a cranky mother-in-law to contend with at the house. Millie's going to get crazy because her mom drives her crazy, and who's gonna get the butt-end of the crazy? ME.

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IAB sucks worse than a pack of poop-flinging monkeys. Apparently, Millie wants to compare, because she got the bright idea to take Isabel to the zoo, invite her niece Daisy, and drag me along for the ride. For the record, I think this is a terrible idea.
I'm back on desk duty for the moment. This sucks on ice. It was weird being at home for so long, too. I think Isabel got used to having me around all the time. That's not so good, especially considering she got kicked out of daycare. We'll have to figure something out.

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So, holiday weekend. I spent it fussing over a sick toddler. What does that mean? She can talk just enough to make sure that we know she feels sick, and she's pretty adamant about letting us know.
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