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Someone Else's Life

Somehow, I'm leading someone else's life...

That's that then. People know. I was expecting more of a reaction, really, but maybe they can see how much this works. That's what I'm hoping, anyway.
It's been a month that we're together, and a week since we got married - it seems like a whole lifetime ago - I guess it was.
Once again, someone has the words that I don't. She gives them to me, and I'll write them, soon, but for now, borrowed ones will have to do.

And somehow
I’ll make tonight our own
Show you every way I’ve grown
Since I met you ..
Yes, if you let me,
I’ll know just what to do
‘Cause then came you
Then there’s you...
When I’m lost
In your eyes I see
The way for me



I'm still worried. It's a lot of change, and I'm not sure how people are taking it. Hell, I'm still shocked at it all sometimes...and I realized how few people I have to talk to about it. It's just outside, it complicates things - I'm responsible for someone other than myself. I've had partners, and I've had friends, but this is more.

And it's the same inside. I'm so used to just giving people what they want that I've lost a little of what it meant to be me, and she wants that, too. Unvarnished, unchanged, with all the pieces that don't add up - it's hard to hand that to her, when what I want is only to give her the good in me. Yet that's why she came to me in the first place, because she saw the jagged edges, and said they looked familiar. She's added a new one, though, because a month ago, I had nothing to lose, and only the dimmest idea of fear. On the other hand, a month ago, I had no idea how lost, how blind and how alone I was. I can't go back to that - and if it was anything like that for her, I can't let that happen.

I want to make sure I live up to what she deserves, and I have no real guides, just love songs, lullabies, and hope.



Somehow
I’m leading someone else’s life
Cut a star down
With my knife
And right now
I still see the way the moon
Plays this tune
Though our light’s died

My hands shake
My knees quake
It’s every day
Same way
‘Cause then came you
Then there’s you
I keep your picture
In my worn-through shoes
When there’s you
Then came you
When I’m lost,
Look at my picture of you

And somehow
I’ll make tonight our own
Show you every way I’ve grown
Since I met you
And right now
I’ll be the boy in your next song
I’ll learn the parts and play along
If you let me

My hands shake
My knees quake
It’s every day
The same way
‘Cause then came you
Then there’s you
I keep your picture
In my worn-through shoes
Then there’s you
Then came you
When I’m lost, I
Look at my picture of you

If you let me I’ll show
The world you
Yes, if you let me,
I’ll know just what to do
‘Cause then came you
Then there’s you
I keep your picture
In my worn-through shoes
When I’m lost
In your eyes I see
The way for me


Music - if you'd like to hear

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Comments

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
abbiesvu
Mar. 13th, 2006 09:41 am (UTC)
Holy fuck! You guys are....married?? I can't believe it! I can't believe you didn't tell-- *busts out laughing* Ah, I needed that.
nypd_millie_viz
Mar. 13th, 2006 10:42 am (UTC)
Ahhhahaha...thank you, Abbie...I also needed that...wow, I am still laughing, actually.
abbiesvu
Mar. 13th, 2006 08:27 pm (UTC)
*mock bows* You're welcome. I'm just glad you two are happy.
det_mike_logan
Mar. 13th, 2006 11:21 am (UTC)
Oh fine, mock my little pouty notice-me-I'm-in-loove bit. Kick me right in the angst
Yes, women everywhere were supposed to rend their garments and wail....
Abbie, you so rock.
nypd_millie_viz
Mar. 13th, 2006 01:14 pm (UTC)
Rend their garments, eh? ::smirk:: Oh, and *I* noticed your pouty angst, my dear, and thought it it was quite nice. Love you too.
abbiesvu
Mar. 13th, 2006 08:30 pm (UTC)
*laughs* Why thank you, Mike. It is a sad day indeed when Mike Logan goes off the market, but other guys in New York can breathe a sigh of relief. More women for them!
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )