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Jun. 1st, 2006

See, this is why nobody works. Stupid forwards - getting them, reading them, and sending them
Here's the last one I got:

25 SIGNS YOU HAVE GROWN UP

1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.

2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.

5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.

6. You watch the Weather Channel.

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up."

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."

10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won't turn down the stereo.

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.

14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

16. You take naps.

17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.

18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.

19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.

20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good shit."

21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.

22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again."

23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.

25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking "Oh shit, what the hell happened?"

Bonus:

26: You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old ass.

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Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
cbarek
Jun. 2nd, 2006 05:45 am (UTC)
Number fourteen doesn't apply to you even after you replace "dog" with "cat." You're not so old.
nypd_millie_viz
Jun. 2nd, 2006 08:00 am (UTC)
19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.

23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.


Uh-huh.
det_mike_logan
Jun. 2nd, 2006 08:55 am (UTC)
Would you prefer
19) Instead of making the midnight munchie run because you lost the game of rock-paper-scissors, you get sent for foul concoctions by your lovely wife.
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )