I'm cancelling my plans to drink my way through the spiral of wisdom, (a 6 foot in diameter spiral of glasses of beer - if you reach the center, it's rumored you meet the Divine) and frankly, that sad bastard Stabler needs a beer bath more than me, so I'm giving him my ticket for that, as well as the "Fellate Me, I'm Irish" shirt. He needs all the help he can get.
So, the only real drinking I'm doing is one pint in honor of Max and Lennie. However, that doesn't stop me from posting these:
The Beer Song
(Do) Dough, greenbacks, the stuff that buys me beer.
(Re) Ray, the guy who sells me beer.
(Mi) Me, the one, the guy who drinks the beer.
(Fa) Far, a long way to my beer.
(So) So, I think I'll have a beer.
(La) La, la, la, la, la, la, beer!
(Ti) Tea, no thanks, I'll have a beer.
One day, an Irishman, Englishman and Scottsman go into a pub together. They each order a pint of Guinness. Just as the bartender hands them over, three flies buzz down and one lands in each of the pints.
The Englishman pushes his beer away in disgust and proceeded to order another pint.
The Scottsman picks the fly out of his pint, shrugs, and takes a long swallow as if nothing had happened.
The Irishman, eyes wide with anger, reaches in to the glass, pinches the fly between his fingers and shakes him over the pint while yelling, "Spit it out, ya bastard! Spit it out!"
The Beer Prayer
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink,
At home as is in the tavern,
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillages,
As we forgive those who spill against us,
And lead us not into incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers,
For thine is the lager,
Forever and ever,