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'Tis the Day!!!

All right, all. I'm off to the parade. I'm not marching - philosophical differences - but I do like the memorial to fallen officers, so I'm headed for that.
I'm cancelling my plans to drink my way through the spiral of wisdom, (a 6 foot in diameter spiral of glasses of beer - if you reach the center, it's rumored you meet the Divine) and frankly, that sad bastard Stabler needs a beer bath more than me, so I'm giving him my ticket for that, as well as the "Fellate Me, I'm Irish" shirt. He needs all the help he can get.

So, the only real drinking I'm doing is one pint in honor of Max and Lennie. However, that doesn't stop me from posting these:

The Beer Song
(Do) Dough, greenbacks, the stuff that buys me beer.
(Re) Ray, the guy who sells me beer.
(Mi) Me, the one, the guy who drinks the beer.
(Fa) Far, a long way to my beer.
(So) So, I think I'll have a beer.
(La) La, la, la, la, la, la, beer!
(Ti) Tea, no thanks, I'll have a beer.

One day, an Irishman, Englishman and Scottsman go into a pub together. They each order a pint of Guinness. Just as the bartender hands them over, three flies buzz down and one lands in each of the pints.

The Englishman pushes his beer away in disgust and proceeded to order another pint.

The Scottsman picks the fly out of his pint, shrugs, and takes a long swallow as if nothing had happened.

The Irishman, eyes wide with anger, reaches in to the glass, pinches the fly between his fingers and shakes him over the pint while yelling, "Spit it out, ya bastard! Spit it out!"

The Beer Prayer
Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink,
At home as is in the tavern,
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillages,
As we forgive those who spill against us,
And lead us not into incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers,
For thine is the lager,
Forever and ever,




( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 17th, 2006 07:10 pm (UTC)
La, la, la, la, la, la, beer!

::cracks up:: It doesn't even attempt to work in beer in any sort of intelligent way.

Mike, you need to sing this. Often and loudly, and preferably in O'Malley's while standing on the bar, completely intoxicated.
Mar. 17th, 2006 07:36 pm (UTC)
We're trying to prevent the drunken standing-on-bars this year....
Mar. 17th, 2006 07:44 pm (UTC)
I predict that it will still be happening, however. Old habits die hard.
Mar. 17th, 2006 08:36 pm (UTC)
::Falls over, laughing, gasping for breath.:: I. Love. That. Joke! ::Giggles madly.::

Hey! I need to get a shirt that says that.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )