I glossed over this weekend. There was so much packed in...
The bad points? St. Vincents - again. It was worse this time, because it wasn't me. Everything surrounding that? Horrible, dizzy, drop-the-floor-out-from-under-you nausea. But I put on the brave guy face, acted strong and pulled it off, I hope. I even started believing it myself.
Oh, and there was the spat about interior decorating. It was quick, it was relatively mild, and it ended amicably, but it stuck with me long enough to bring it up at lunch with Caro. I was hit, suddenly, by the fact that my life isn't mine in little ways, and neither is Millie's - I was all put out about how I have the right not to have a dog, and then, it occured to me that she had next to no warning that she might never have one again. Like I said, little and stupid, but hits you hard.
The good points?
Lunch with Caro, and the realization that I can help two of my friends, and despite my trying to treat her like glass, she helps me, too. Harper and the bounce - for a minute, Max was back. I think Max would've liked Harp.
Of course, moonlight, fiddles and Millie, in one of those forever moments under a winter sky. Those are treasures you keep - but we go beyond that.
Realizing that this choice is what I want, and hearing her say the same after stopping to breathe? Being able to return to her after what happened, like the sight of home after a storm? Having the ability to hear her laugh, genunine and free, and realizing she's doing the same for me? No words, no words at all.
It's the comfort of stretching out with book in bed, and the one I love most next to me, sleeping with a smile on her face - it's a moment that's supposed to be small, but if you stop to think, is worth the whole world.