det_mike_logan (det_mike_logan) wrote,

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I do beleive I could head on down and get the ME to do a workup from the bitemarks in my ass. True, they are only figurative, but they are causing some considerable pain where I sit.

Poem for today? A masterpiece by John S. Hall

Take Stuff From Work

Take stuff from work.
It's the best way to feel better about your job.
Never buy pens or pencils or paper.
Take 'em from work.
Rubber bands, paper clips, memo pads, folders-take 'em from work.
It's the best way to feel better about your low pay and appalling working conditions.
Take an ashtray-they got plenty.
Take coat hangers.
Take a, take a trash can.
Why buy a file cabinet?
Why buy a phone?
Why buy a personal computer or word processor?
Take 'em from work.
I took a whole desk from the last place I worked.
They never noticed and it looks great in my apartment.
Take an electric pencil sharpener.
Take a case of white-out; you might need it one day.
Take some from work
It's your duty as an oppressed worker to steal from your exploiters.
It's gonna be an outstanding day.
Take stuff from work.
And goof off on the company time.
I wrote this at work.
They're paying me to write about stuff I steal from them.
Life is good.

Of course I would never actually steal any physical items. I've borrowed a lumalight on occasion, but who hasn't? And everyone uses the fingerprinting kits when there's a fridge thief on the loose. Hmm, come to think of it, the less said about the photocopy thing the better, and then there's what the guys in the video room get up to...but that's them, not me.

However, thinking impure thoughts on the company's time? Most definitely. It is one of my favorite ways to earn a salary. The, uh, pixy I mentioned to certain people? In my afternoon getting-paid-to-think, there's six of her. No briefcases, no suits, just wings. Oh, yeah.

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